Do you deserve help?
You might feel help worthy; I don’t.
I feel unworthy.
Sometimes there are things I know I can use some help.
But out of reasons, I can’t explain.
I don’t ask for help.
I just can’t believe what I need help with is of importance enough to merit the support, the love.
I’m glad to Brené Brown. Through her research.
She found that Men tend to feel shame around the fear of being “perceived as weak,” or more academically: fear of being called a pussy.
Women tend to feel shame around the idea of being “never enough”: at home, at work, in bed. Never pretty enough, never smart enough, never thin enough, never good enough.
You are not allowed
Both sexes get trapped in the same box, for different reasons.
If I ask for help, I am not enough. If I ask for help, I am weak. It’s no wonder, so many of us just don’t bother to ask. It’s too painful.
Painful or not. Please ask.
I’m trying to ask for help more. Help with
- My writing.
- My finances.
- My singing.
- My relationship.
- My addictions.
A word of caution
Ask with gratitude.
Asking for help with shame says:
You have the power over me.
Asking with condescension says:
I have the power over you.
But asking for help with gratitude says:
We have the power to help each other.
Back to you
Asking for help requires authenticity and vulnerability.
Those who ask without fear learn to say two things, with or without words, to those they are facing:
I deserve to ask, and you’re welcome to say no.
Now. Go. Ask.
You deserve the love.
You deserve happiness.
You deserve the help.
P.S. Learning is a form of asking and receiving help. I happen to teach a free great writing course. That will get you to knock out the root causes for writer’s frustration. Click here now to learn more